When laundry day goes horribly awry

Posted by A.
I shouldn’t care about Jon Gosselin. I don’t even like Reality TV. But I do get sucked into my fair share of tabloid news. So, when the link for a story on US Magazine’s website about Jon’s tryst in France with his new, young girlfriend was forwarded to me by a friend, I admit I clicked on it. I would’ve just rolled my eyes and moved on with my day if it weren’t for fashion designer Christian Audigier’s pink outfit:

Ummm, hello!!!! Everyone knows you aren’t supposed to mix whites and reds in the washing machine. Totally a rookie mistake!

This MUST be the offending piece of laundry:

All about Elwood

Posted by A.

Do you ever lay awake in the middle of the night plagued by random questions – Did I remember to refrigerate the leftovers from dinner? Will Conan’s unique brand of hilarity survive in the Tonight Show slot?; Who’s That AOL Guy Who Eerily Knows When You’ve Got Mail? – stuff that shouldn’t actually matter at 2 a.m., and yet you can’t seem to let it go? So you roll out of bed, check the refrigerator, Google “AOL Guy,” discover the answer is Elwood Edwards, post a tweet about Elwood. At that point you can’t help but check your Facebook where you’re thrust into the grips of a photo album posted by a friend with photos from a party you weren’t invited to. You feel bitter and angry and start cursing facebook, you pace back and forth, you bang the keyboard, you sacrafice the 10 ”friends” closest to the party planner (even though there’s no free Whopper involved), and that makes you feel slightly better so you take a quiz to determine just “How Bitchy Are You?” (40% Bitchy) — At this point it’s 3 a.m.,  which means you have less than 3 hours until the baby wakes up, and you are extremely tired but you can’t get back to sleep. So you start worrying about how tired you will be when you do actually wake up in the morning — if you ever manage to sleep again, that is — and before you know it it’s 4 a.m. and you’re still tossing and turning. Now you’ve convinced yourself that you have forgotten how to fall asleep. Your sleeping mechanism is broken and you are doomed to becoming a living zombie. You wake up your husband to tell him about Elwood, the party you weren’t invited to, how you’ve forgotten how to fall asleep, but he’s already asleep again before you finish your sentence. It is now 5 a.m. The baby is crying in the other room, husband is still sleeping soundly, and it’s time for you to wake up. Oh wait, you never slept in the first place!

Well, there’s always tonight.  At least you won’t be wondering  about Elwood.